Gay scientists Isolate the Christian gene

18 12 2008

DNA research is fascinating, I think. At least when it deals with proving that we all come from a same source (to prove this is also needed in our society. I wish it was not so). But now that it has been proved, gosh, them scientists do some unnecessary research. A example ? To try to find a gay gene, of course. Talk about wasted research money. So, hum, when will they be able to tell if I put a red bra today ? I can’t wait. -_-‘

Isn’t trying to find a cause to homosexuality assuming that homosexuality has to be explained because it is not right ? I don’t know. I guess we could say so. Here’s a funny video I found surfing on the internet. Gay scientists isolate the Christian gene. Hilarious. 😀


Sexuality, identity and God

11 12 2008

 So, this picture right here is an Italian pro-homosexuality campaign that promote the idea that homosexuality is genetic. The poster caption says “Sexual orientation is not a choice”. I think it is a little bit over the top. Some people try so hard to make homosexuality overly accepted that to them, pretty much everything is good to support their cause. Even if it is not true. If it fits with there thesis, that’s ok. I’m not saying that it is false that homosexuality is genetic. But this theory has never been proved. Same thing with the brain activity and size of gays and lesbians. If you want to support a cause, just do it right. This add doesn’t upset me, it just makes me feel disappointed and a little sad. After, if ever someone finds a good and reliable proof that homosexuality is not genetic, then homophobic people are going to use that against us. Of course. It just makes the whole situation more complicated.

 Since society assumes that everyone is straight from birth unless told otherwise, it is a real struggle to define yourself as gay or lesbian. It is a process that straight people know nothing about, since they never have to make that journey. But I wonder if being born gay or not really changes something. You’re gay, you’re gay. That’s it. It’s like: who cares if you were born with blue eyes ? Now your eyes are brown and they are pretty much going to stay that color so why bother about the blue eyes ? You know ?

I mean, do we really chooseto be shy or out-going ? Do we chose to love chocolate and not vegetables ? Have we decided to be touched and affected by discrimination and not by political issues ? I think love is pretty irrational. We don’t know why we love our lover. We just love herhim. We might say: ‘Oh, she’s cute, she’s funny, she cares about me’. But there is more than one lover who is like this, isn’t it ? And we don’t necessarily fall in love with everyone who falls into that description. We don’t know either why we are afraid of spiders or heights or water. We just are. Isn’t the same thing with homophobia ? So far, I met many homophobic people and none of them manage to clearly say why they hated homosexuals.

Aren’t we, as a society, trying to rational the irrational ? I mean: love. Yes, being gay or lesbian or bisexual is about love, I believe. Certainly not about hate, for sure. Some Christians that refuse to see themselves as gay argue that it is not about being homosexual, it is about being a Christian. They say they smoother their sexual orientation and choose to live as a Christian with these attractions which they don’t act upon. They say it is a distinction that more gays and lesbians should see. Okay. Not so bad. The problem is: Are they really going to live all their life with those attractions at the back of their head, not going to satisfy them at all ? If you are happy with the heterosexual live, good for you. But you might want to ask yourself if your are doing that for you or for someone else ? Usual answer: ‘This is what God wants for me’. Or something of that effect. Doesn’t God want you to love yourself the way you are ? …  No ? Yes ? -_-‘

I don’t want to start the religion/homosexuality talk. But man, some times I just wish everything was just nice and easy.

Keith Olbermann talks about prop 8 in California

9 12 2008

I know this is old news. But I just heard about it. I’ll do this real short because I suppose that you all heard about it many times. When it comes to gay rights and trying to convince people to just leave us alone (minimally) and trying to make them understand that it is ok to be homosexual or asexual or transexual or transgender, it’s always a little difficult, you know. There is no chemistry, and both parties are absolutely sure that they are right. I’m a bad speaker and a bad debater because it is tough for me to clearly express myself. At times it is very frustrating because it’s not because I have a hard time verbally defending my values that I don’t have any (some people think that, isn’t it silly ?) But anyway. I think that Keith Olbermann really managed to say almost everything I wish I could have said to people when it comes to homosexuality. He’s very clear, he’s thoughful, he’s convincing, he has charisma, he’s got it all. Of course. I mean, the guy reads the news, of course he can do and has all that. But I mean, if you didn’t watch that short video about him talking about prop 8 in California about same-sex marriage, you should sit back and watch. That man has some really strong powers, lol.

One thing that I still can’t understand, though, is why do people care about homosexuality ? Why do homophobic people think that only one portion of the population can love, be loved, and be happy? I just don’t get it. Why do people waste so much time with hatred ? Ah… -_-‘

Transgenders in Oprah’s show

24 08 2008

Who whatched the Oprah show on
transgender families and gender identity ? 



Dear readers, meet Jake. I mean, Julia. A little girl who likes trucks, climbing on tree and pretend to be the dad of the family when she plays. Now, meet Jake. 16 years-old who once though she was lesbian but finally understood that she wanted to be a male role model, a husband and a father. Julia started her transformation to become Jake at a very young age when at 13, a friend of hers told her he was a transgender. That was exactly what she wanted to be! Now, Jake is happy, and I believe that this is what is really important. I mean, I have been really depressed as a teenager and now that I’m all good, I can easily say that depression is one of the worst thing ever. I wish that to nobody.



In that other episode, Oprah invited two adult transgenders. It was so sad. Not the fact that they are transgenders, but the fact that they lived all those years (20, 30, 40 years) being stuck in the wrong body. That should be awful. Of course, I can’t really understand everything about being a transgender or about feeling like one since I feel ok in my female body. But being trapt in yourself… wow, it’s scary. One of the transgenders (who became a women) had a little girl who said that she loved her parents, but did not want to be different. The fact that her father became a women was bothering her because of people’s looks. I thought that was sad. Sad and unfair.

Personnally, having a transgender in my family wouldn’t bother me. That girl was just a child and dealing with people’s looks could be a lot more difficult for her than for me. While watching The Oprah Show, I was just wondering how I would react to this. I mean having a transgender in my family. Like I said, the transition does not bother me. I want people to be happy. 🙂 But… It still partly a sad thing because of the “death“ of the person. If ever my brother become a transgender, that would be totally okay but I have to admit that I would feel like my brother is dead. Of course, I would now have a sister, and it the same person, just in a different package, but still. My brother is now 22 and we share so much memories together. The boy and men in my souvenirs would not be there anymore. Physically. It’s a bit like a lost. A deep lost.

But in a sense, it’s also a gain. I think it’s horrible to live trapted in your own body… I mean, can you imagine it ? Trapted in your own body ! :s How scary.

Daddy drama on Dr. Phil

5 08 2008

Did anyone see the Dr. Phil show yesterday ? You know, Daddy Drama? The guy went on the army, got married and had kids, but he always felt that he was a woman ! His oldest daughter was 21 I think and his youngest, 13. I think he was divorced or that the mother died, I don’t know (I didn’t get the first part of the show). And just recently, he decided he couldn’t live as a man anymore and so, he began to dress himself as a woman.

I mean, I understand the fact that all his life, he didn’t feel good on his own skin. That part of the story is sad. The fact that the girls didn’t seem to understand too was sad. But I mean, like Dr. Phil said, it’s not what you do that is wrong. It’s the way you do it. There is a bad and a good way to do things. The guy didn’t get that, I think. He made choices in his life. He may not have choose to end up being like a woman trapped in a man body, but he choose to get married and have kids. Those kind of things come with responsibilities.

The man was saying that he is a father to his daughters even his he is transgendered. But what is being a father, really ? His little 13 yeard-old girl was just so confused she couldn’t even look at him. Being a father implies to support your kids and keep them from being so confused. You knows how she could turn out if this situation stays that way ? She may stay confused, become ignorant, deal with low self-esteem, have anger and hatred issues…

It seemed to me that the guy just thought of himself. He seemed just really selfish. “Oh, you don’t know how it’s like.“ “You don’t understand me“. It’s YOUR job to explain them this. In fact, it your job to keep being a role model to your daughters. You can’t just go in front of them, say that you always knew you were a girl and act as if it was nothing. You need to communicate. Find a middle ground.

I have to say, though, that the girls were just so closed minded. They wanted to have their father back. And to them, their father was a man. I thought that their perception of family was… just so rigid. Is it really the physical appearance that counts ? Or is it the soul, the care, the love… ? Does that mean that if their father had a serious car accident and was disfigured and unrecognizable, they wouldn’t consider him as their dad anymore ? I know that you can’t really compare those 2. But still. You got my point.

I believe that if 1) the father was less egocentric and 2) the girls were more open-minded and that 3) they would communicate, everything would be better for them. I’m sure that the man still have a lot of love for his kids. The kids need to accept that love. If you don’t accept love, what do you expect to change ? The older sister was saying over and over “I’m certain you don’t love us. You can’t love us. I don’t believe you. You’re just gross, it’s disgusting.“ and Dr. Phil was all over her as if the girls were the angels and the father, the devil. I mean, come on !

The man has kids, yes. Does that mean that he has to give everything to them, even his own happiness ? I mean, please, what about the communication and the compromises ? What about the love that they absolutely don’t (want to ?) share ?

Confused ?

4 08 2008

Bisexuality really has a tough time now days. It seems like bisexual people are often seen as either confused or unsincere. It is such a shame, really. I mean, who can judge that ? I believe that bisexuality is not half something and half another thing like people tend to think. There might have people who are confused about their sexuality and like to consider themselves bisexual because they don’t really know themselves yet. They might end up Straight, Gay or Bisexual and in all cases that would be good. But not all bisexuals are confused ! It seems like people can’t see that bisexuality is a complete form of sexuality. I believe the confusion comes from the fact that some people are bicurious and they totally mix up being bicurious and bisexual. Bisexuality is a preference. Just like heterosexuality or homosexuality or even asexuality. I think bisexuality (I’m not bisexual, but I said I think) is about the person and who they are. Finding love in an individual who makes your heart do flip-flops, whether it’s a man or a woman. 😉 Don’t you think ?

The realisation of my sexuality (part 2)

2 08 2008

Check out The realisation of my sexuality (part 1)  first ! 😉

Okay, so after that birthday party and after I cried, I seriously began to wonder if I could possibly be lesbian. I didn’t panicked. Actually, I was really calm and… You know, there was no reason for me to panic. I was not against homosexuality so what was the problem ? There was no problem. But then, I had a couple of discussions about homosexuality with my dad (I didn’t tell him that, you know, I was searching for my sexuality, we just talked about it generally). I knew that my dad was against homosexuality, but before, I just thought: Oh, well, I’m not lesbian so I don’t really care if my dad hates homosexuals. Of course, I was trying to make him understand that there was nothing wrong with homosexuality, but he was just so stubborn and I just did not feel concerned. Those conversations I had with my dad really made me realise that this whole lesbian thing could be more complicated than I thought it could ever be. Only then, I began to feel more stress and panic. Even still then, I was saying to myself that, well, let’s just find information about the situation. I may not even be lesbian. I don’t know, I thought that one day would be sufficient to find all the information I wanted. Ha, ha, good joke. It was hell. I’m telling you, it was NOT funny at all. I searched over the internet (for discretion purposes). I didn’t want to talk about it yet, I was not ready. And maybe there wouldn’t even have something to talk about, you know…

There was a lot of obstacles. I mean, just try to search homosexuality on google. Hum-hum, not funny. o.0 Things are gonna pop-up everywhere, dirty things and porn sites trying to make you sign in and stuff… And when it was no porn, lol, it was Aids. Everywhere. Homosexuality seemed to me to be a very obscure thing at fisrt. I mean, of course, I knew all that. I knew about the porn sites (I mean, who doesn’t know that porn is all over the internet ?? Honestly.), I knew about aids and stuff. It’s just NOT what I wanted to know. I was a 17 years-old black girl who just wanted to find plain formal information. Poor me. Like, I was hoping to find THE website with a FAQ kind of form. I know. I’m a perfectionnist psycho. 🙂

After the porn, the pop-ups and the bad side of homosexuality, the next obstacle I bumped into was that every single site I found was either incomplete and useless or adult-related. Not like adult related, but adult-related. I mean, it was sites for 30 years-old and older people who want to go in bars or do conferences or people having problem with their sex lifes. In other words: nothing to interest me. I mean, I searched for a very long time. At some point, I even went in the sexuality aisle in the library near my house (I knew I could find things there. it’s a really big library) but I was just so ashamed, I had an phony innocent  “oh!, wrong aisle“ kind of reaction and almost ran out of the library without borrowing any book, lol. And, hum, soon enough, I felt that homosexuality seemed to be a “white“ thing. Back then, I never saw any Black Lesbian or gay or bisexual or transgendered whatsoever. I felt lonely. I felt like a monster. 😦

And, hum, you know, after a while, I kind of give up on trying to find information. Yes, I finally found a couple of things about the Black LGBT community, but so little. And it was, you know, “adult-related“. I just wanted to find someone like me, a Black person with a different sexuality. Any sexuality, I didn’t care. I just needed someone. Anyone. I wanted to know where do homosexuality come from and why are some people are homosexuals ? What are the causes ? The consequences ? Can we control it ? Is there any researches that have been done on that subject ? What does the science say ? What does the religion say ? How many homosexuals is there in the world ? Can everyone be homosexual ? Are people born with it ? Or is it something that you catch like walking down the street or something lol ? I had so much questions. So much questions and no answers. I think the problem is that I tried to find answers in book, internet, movies, magazines… Everywhere else except in my own heart. I didn’t ask my feelings like: “ What do you guys think?“ 🙂 I mean, right now, homosexuality is still a very blurry thing. I finally accepted my homosexuality even without knowing most of the answers of my questions. It’s been tough, because like I said before, I wanted to be in control. But… you know. Who really can control love ?

End of the story: No, I never met that old girl friend I felt in love with at my birthday party again. It’s been almost 2 years. I still think about her. Makes me sad… But it’s okay. 🙂

Any questions about anything ? Just ask. It’s why I’m here for. 😀