Hard times

22 07 2009

king_of_hearts_by_BitterGrapesSometimes I just wish I could live my life without having to worry about stupid things that people shouldn’t even pay attention to. No suffering is more important than another, but being a black lesbian isn’t the easiest thing ever.

These are some hard times, lesbos.

I remember that one time in college. Have any of you ever been outed? Not such a good feeling. But the ‘funny’ thing in my case is that that person who ‘outed’ me didn’t even really realised it. I was hanging out with my friends and the friends of my friends and some acquaintances. We’re a pretty mixed group: Quebecois, one Irish girl, one Canadian from friendly Ontario, Haitians, francophones, gay guys, straight girls, a bisexual girl… And one of my new friends, who has boys on her mind 24/7 just kept talking to me about guys and I would be just like: “Oh”, “yeah”, “right”, “wow”, “huh-huh”, you know. And among the group it was pretty obvious that I have no interest in men but yet, I wasn’t out of the closet. And one day – one bad day – I just said to my girl friend that one random guy was good-looking just to shut her up, you know (yep: a really bad day I’m usually not like that).

Then, boom, it was all she needed. She was so happy I found that guy “attractive”, it made her day. Literaly. She said: “Finally!!! Dude, I thought you were lesbian!” (She calls everybody dude, she’s the cutest thing ever).

Everybody stops talking and looks at me for a sec. Cause, like I said, I’m not obvious as a lesbian (well, I don’t think I am but you never know) but since I’m hanging out with a bunch of gay guys and straigt girls, men are pretty much our no1 conversation, so it quickly became obvious that… you know, there was something up with me.

Now, why ain’t I out to my friends? …………..It’s truly complicated. But to be honest, I think they know. It’s kind of hard to hide it with friends. We just don’t talk about it. It’s complicated. I’ll probably post something about this.

Hard times, people. Hard times…

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Think Before You Speak

7 01 2009

Nearly 9 out of 10 of LGBT students (86.3%) experienced harassment at school because of their sexual orientation in the past year, according to GLSEN’s 2007 National School Climate Survey.

The Ad Council’s first LGBT-themed campaign, unveiled last month, targets anti-LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender) language among teenagers. It features humorous TV public service announcements that star Hilary Duff and Wanda Sykes interrupting teenagers who use the term “that’s so gay.”





Am I out of the closet ?

14 12 2008

teenager_by_adikijaOf course not. I mean… are you serious ?! There is no escape for me, unfortunately. My family is pretty homophobic, especially my father. Gosh, sometimes he says things that are just so awful… 😦 I consider myself quite young (maybe too young) to break my family apart. They don’t want this, neither do I. I know someday it will happen. Just not now. Let’s just say I’m not ready to come out of the closet just now. It is so easy to say: just do it, this is who you are. Of course, I wish to everyone to be out of the closet and be accepted. It’s just not that simple. Not only would my sexual orientation break my family apart, to be totally honest, I am scared like hell of my father. There are so much things that happened in his life and in my life and in our life as a family and knowing that his daughter is lesbian would just be too much, I guess. I am just afraid of what he would do like I’m sleeping, if you know what I mean… Seriously, it’s not even funny. At time, he just so violent. But anyway. My father is pretty much the main reason why I keep a low profile about this. Better off this way.

There is nothing else much to say about this. Except that for the moment, my only alternative to this unfortunate situation is to move out in Ontario (probably Ottawa or Toronto) after my CEGEP studies. In other words: Cut any type of relationship with my family. They won’t know anything about who I would be living with nor how my life is like. I would just be gone.

Well… Nobody knows what the future holds.





Keith Olbermann talks about prop 8 in California

9 12 2008

I know this is old news. But I just heard about it. I’ll do this real short because I suppose that you all heard about it many times. When it comes to gay rights and trying to convince people to just leave us alone (minimally) and trying to make them understand that it is ok to be homosexual or asexual or transexual or transgender, it’s always a little difficult, you know. There is no chemistry, and both parties are absolutely sure that they are right. I’m a bad speaker and a bad debater because it is tough for me to clearly express myself. At times it is very frustrating because it’s not because I have a hard time verbally defending my values that I don’t have any (some people think that, isn’t it silly ?) But anyway. I think that Keith Olbermann really managed to say almost everything I wish I could have said to people when it comes to homosexuality. He’s very clear, he’s thoughful, he’s convincing, he has charisma, he’s got it all. Of course. I mean, the guy reads the news, of course he can do and has all that. But I mean, if you didn’t watch that short video about him talking about prop 8 in California about same-sex marriage, you should sit back and watch. That man has some really strong powers, lol.

One thing that I still can’t understand, though, is why do people care about homosexuality ? Why do homophobic people think that only one portion of the population can love, be loved, and be happy? I just don’t get it. Why do people waste so much time with hatred ? Ah… -_-‘





Creole proverb

15 08 2008

Some days are just weird days. I’m trying to stay optimist, though. That may sounds corny, but I’m trying no to let bad thoughts overwhelming me. Negative things are such a waste of time (I believe I sound like a priest or something write this… ;))  But anyway. People often think I’m naive because of my always optimistic personality. It’s almost like an insult to them. Let me give you a little tip of mine when you have bad days, it’s creole proverb (with an arab origine, I think…):

Sé pa tout chyen ki japé pou ou viré dèyè gadé’l.

Wich means: It is not every dog that barks at you that you must pay attention to. Or, if you know a little bit of french (I believe it sounds better in french than in English): Le chien aboie, la caravane passe. Wich means: The dog’s barking, the caravan is passing. Let people say what they want, do what they want, it must not affect you.

* Graciousness of my mom who used to tell me that a lot as a kid and a teen going through rough periods… 🙂  Don’t we love our moms ? 😀





Olympic games – China wants perfection

13 08 2008

“We combined the perfect voice and the perfect performance.”

Okay, so it begins with two little girls: Lin Miakoe and Yang Peiyi. Remember the opening ceremony for the Olympic games ? There’s this rumor that says that the girl we all saw on TV wasn’t the one who was singing ! Why ? Because the singing was apparently not cute and beautiful enough. How horrible. Little girls ! 😦

In this photo released by China’s Xinhua News Agency, Lin Miaoke, a nine-year-old Chinese girl who performed at the opening ceremony of the Beijing Olympics on the day before, returns to the Xizhongjie Primary School of Dongcheng District in Beijing on Saturday, Aug. 9, 2008. A 7-year-old Chinese girl’s face was “not suitable” for the Olympics opening ceremony, so Lin lip-synched “Ode to the Motherland”, the latest example of the lengths Beijing took for a perfect start to the Summer Games. (AP Photo/Xinhua, Zhou Liang) (read more)

Fake, fake and… fake.

Then: The opening ceremony’s organisers were working on the Fireworks for over a year so that the public sees FAKE ?!!! Gosh, that’s really depressing. I also heard that before the Olympics started, China “cleaned“ the country by making disappear homosexuals, beggars, Tibet defenders, human rights activists, ect. Everything that would make them “imperfect“ (China sure doesn’t look perfect at all with what’s happening with the Olympic games…) And what’s this obsession with perfection ? Perfection doesn’t exist, it never will.

At first, before the Olympics actually began, I thought: How could such a country that does even respects the human rights, be the home of the Olympic Games ? That does make any sense to me at all. VERY frustrating. Then, I thought: Well, the Olympic is an old friendly competition. Maybe that could give China more… how such I say ? I mean, rejecting an entire country isn’t nice, right ? Let’s give China a chance. Perhaps this would help them be more open-minded and be less close on itself like at the Mao Tse-Tong time. Right now, I feel like China is just so driven by perfection that inevitably, politics are going to show up everywhere around the Olympics. Hello ?! The Olympics are supposed to be fun. Politics is not fun. But we just can’t tear them apart in this case because China is just so obsess with perfection. Gosh, that’s annoying.

I’m no journalist are politician, and I can’t tell for sure that the rumors around the opening ceremony are true, but if they are, unfortunately, it wouldn’t even surprise me. China is China. And it’s such a shame because the Chinese government takes all the space and the normal Chinese people who just work, take the bus and sleep are not represented. This gives China such a bad image and reputation.

Now. Let me tell you something even more incredible. But it’s true, no jokes. I can’t tell my sources, but it’s something huge. And absolutely reliable, of course.  Here: There’s no Olympic Games. It’s all fake. They are using us !!! -_-‘





Black lesbian in NYC get 11 years for self-defense

9 08 2008

On June 14, four African-American women—Venice Brown (19), Terrain Dandridge (20), Patreese Johnson (20) and Renata Hill (24)—received sentences ranging from three-and-a-half to 11 years in prison. None of them had previous criminal records. Two of them are parents of small children. Their crime? Defending themselves from a physical attack by a man who held them down and choked them, ripped hair from their scalps, spat on them, and threatened to sexually assault them—all because they are lesbians. The mere fact that any victim of a bigoted attack would be arrested, jailed and then convicted for self-defense is an outrage. But the length of prison time given further demonstrates the highly political nature of this case and just how racist, misogynistic, anti-gay, anti-youth and anti-worker the so-called U.S. justice system truly is. The description of the events, reported below, is based on (read more).

And now, let’s ask ourselves : Why? -_-‘